How to Say No to Kids at Weddings


Some people love kids at weddings, some people think they make the day and there is nothing more enjoyable than watching a kid run and slide across a dance floor on his knees. I am not 'some people'. 

As I've previously bragged, I'm getting married and luckily both myself and him indoors have the same no kids at weddings stance and even more luckily we don't have many kids to consider as a lot of our friends haven't started procreating yet. However, there are some and we still need to figure out the best way to say we'd love to have you at our wedding but please leave your screaming, messy brood at home. 

How do you deal with that we hear you ask, well we've got a foolproof guide!

1. Pretend that you love kids and nothing would please you more than having them at the wedding. This is called lulling them into a false sense of security before you strike!

2. Once they're totally bought into the idea that you don't hate other people's children, make your case that there will be NOTHING and we mean NOTHING for them to do. Weddings can be such long days and those poor kids will just be so bored.

3. If they're still not buying it, appeal to their selfish nature. You're thinking about them, you really are. How nice will it be for them to have a night off without the kids and really enjoy themselves without having to worry who's sticking peas up their nose.

4. If none of the above works and you're dealing with people who actually LIKE children and want to spend their time with them then you need to ramp it up to def con 5 and ghost them.* Yeah sure, you lose a couple of friends in the process but do you really want to be friends with people who like kids THAT much?!


You could just have an honest conversation with any of your guests who have children explaining that your wedding day is not an environment for children. You'd love to have your friends there but understand if its too difficult for them to find a babysitter or leave their kids behind. If so then you can arrange to meet up with them (and said children) separately after the wedding and save them a favour or slice of cake so they feel included in the celebration even though they weren't there.

Although we're partial to option A, we think you might be more successful with option B! 

When it comes to inviting children to weddings, people can feel quite strongly about it either way so tread lightly and be tactful.  

*ceasing all communication as seen by Charlize Theron on Sean Penn